Earlier today I happened to stumble upon a rather rough customer.  There I was enjoying a rather fine Canadian spring morning (Canadian spring is fairly similar to the rest of the year actually.  But the sky is wet) when lo and behold, myself and others were graced by the presence of a very prominent young man and his entourage of bigoted friends.  Like the big lout he was, Suckface began to ruin everybody’s lives.  Butt Sniffer Mackenzie decided (perhaps in a daring effort to raise the dead) to speak as loud as humanly possible within the closed confines of a moving bus.  Lumpy Dump and his friends were the kind of people that met every second sentence with uproars of laughter.  Laughter so loud it could (and did) shatter ear drums.  Few survived that journey…

Frankly, I am not fond of things such as these.  Or people being colossal knobs of suck in general.  In retrospect of this event I’ve decided to create a my “bottom ten” list in the hopes that I may prevent future nincompoopery.

Nubly’s Bottom Ten

  1. People being colossal knobs of suck
  2. Wasps
  3. That on time when my brother pushed my bike handles in the middle of a race that I was so totally winning, but hey, at least I have this cool scar now
  4. Chemistry jokes…  I’m serious these are worse than Hitler
  5. Pudding skin
  6. The distinct lack of Elvis impersonators on television
  7. Country music (they tell you that it’s trying to tell a story, but it’s a really sucky story)
  8. Jehovah’s witnesses that wear big sunglasses, mace doesn’t work on those ones
  9. Hippies
  10. Hippies (because they deserve two points)

These are the kinds of things that happen far more often than they should, I know that we’re better than this humanity.  I know for a fact that if we put our minds to it, we can leave a better world behind for future generations.  One where I’m not constantly trying to shank everybody.  Unfortunately, I can only dream of such a day.  Oh well.

(goes back to carving a shiv)