IFAQ: Local Emails on Elephants in Saskatchewan

by on March 11, 2015 at 1:08 PM
Posted In: Uncategorized

In-Frequently Asked Questions:

Questions you didn’t think existed, mattered, or needed a response
  • Q: How often do you use the company Elephant for school’s field trips?

— Anthony B. Fickleberry, Charcoal Diamond Mine,  BigLongWait, Saskatchewan

  • A: Dear Mr. FickleBerry, I am sorry to inform you that the Company Elephant, Charlie Bacon, broke his leg in a gopher hole last year, and will no longer walk in the school’s fields. Now, the gopher is suing us, for damaging it’s property. Good grief!


  • Q: How many Questions?

— Jimmy age 8, Saskatchewan

  • A: I’m sorry Jimmy, but to answer that you’ll need to give me more information; Like, do you mean how many questions in this? How many questions exist in the world? How many questions  you’ve asked? And along what timeline(s)?

 

  • Q: How many… hamburgers?

— Jimmy age 8, Saskatchewan

  • A: Okay, I’ll try to answer best I can…  3. 1568^7658. 2 (in this post) 10000342, in your life. 1569002 hamburgers currently exist.

 

  • Q: What’s the meaning of life?
— Wondering Wanda, Winnipeg, Saskatchewan.
  • A: 42.


  • Q: If Saskatchewan had an NHL hockey team, what would it be called?
— The Rouge Rider, Hardtohide, Saskatchewan
  • A: Well, If Saskatoon gets a little bigger, I’d say the “Saskatoon Kartoons”. More likely however, it’ll be the Saskatchewan (Or Regina) RoughRiders. I’m not sure what the rules are on having a CFL team be the same players, and having the same name as an NHL team…
  • Q: When’s the time change, at 2 am, tonight? I want to set my clock at exactly the right time, so my clock is 100% accurate!
— Professor  Fiddlesticks,  Professor at Large, Regina, Saskatchewan
  • A: Don’t worry, Professor; Saskatchewan doesn’t believe in time change!
  • Q: How far is it to Mary’s house?
— Amy DeLoused,  Bear Paddle Lake, Saskatchewan
  • A: 10.5 meters.
  • Q: How do I send in my own questions to this revered document?
— Could B. You, Possibly In, Saskatchewan
  • A: Send your questions to williaint@gmail.com or, if you feel lucky, comments@jollybiscuit.com.  You could also try emailing any other of the “Staff”.
    Unless otherwise mentioned, I WiLL use your email. And possibly make up a fictional place where you came from, like “Saskatchewan”.