“Come brothers! To Target! BURN EVERYONE!!!”
Howdy Jolly Biscuiteers,
Over the next week the ‘ol site is going to be undergoing some maintenance so expect some minor inconveniences (toothpaste and laundry machine moved under about page, expect to find clothes in remote area of RSS feed). We’re going to be trying out some new themes we feel will be well suitable for a comic site like ours, so we ask that you do bear with us while our relations ministers distribute sample shampoo bottles to alleviate distress. (paper bags distributed by agents in cases of hyperventilation).
Finding the actual comics is now… intentionally… obscure… intentionally of course. Finding the comics is part of the fun, we wish you luck in the new puzzle.
On January, Jollybiscuit received $5000 in grants from Kevin O’Leary of CBC’s Dragon’s Den! Dragon’s Den is a business show where entrepreneurs pitch their ideas to success to successful businesspeople. As for us, we applied into one of their contests for high school students after we heard about it (pretty late into the granting cycle), but, happily, we received the grant. This grant will help us much in development. We’d just like to extend a thanks to Kevin O’Leary, and gosh, we’d like to meet you sometime.
Here’s the video we submitted to win. Considering it was scrapped together in a weekend… Not great, but not bad… Thanks to everyone who helped.
For the past two years the boys down at Jolly Biscuit HQ have been toiling away for your amusement. But we don’t just produce lovingly handmade comics down in these dark catacombs… We make little love filled jars sold in bulk at your local Costco. Operations like that take a lot of manpower and a lot of heart juicing machines, and none of it is cheap. Several months ago we began working on our first featured product with little more than a computer tablet and the clothes on our back. In all seriousness me and Blazark have been working tirelessly to complete a fairly large project. And thanks to an extremely generous contribution made by Calgary Youth Foundation we’ll be able to see this project to it’s completion in the very near future.
So we’d very very VERY much like to send all our lovin’ down the way of the Calgary Youth Foundation for their generosity and support.
Seriously! Look at the size of that thing! It almost didn’t fit in the bank when we turned it in. We never would have made it without you guys!
September’s coming up faster than greased lightning, and this fall I’m going to be starting my first year of POST SECONDARY EDUCATION (que confetti)
Needless to say I’m gonna have a lot less time to get crap done, as a result I’m gonna be making fewer updates. Big deal, suck it up, that’s life, you live with things, you change, you move on, deal with it. On top of that I’ve decided to take a break this September. From September 3rd to October 1st I won’t be making any updates at all, after that I’ll be posting new comics every Monday for the foreseeable future. And unless I get struck by some kind of magic space rock which improves my Photoshop skills ten fold then nothing’s going to change very much.
Now I know what your all thinking, “y u do dis”, and that’s exactly what I’ve been thinking as well. Close your piehole and let old daddy Blue tell you what going on. Let’s say me and a good friend have been working on a large project lately and we need all the time we can get. With a little elbow grease and some good old fashion gumption, we plan to finish everything within the next month.
“What is this project?” you might find yourself asking, “Why don’t you mind your own goddamn business?” I’ll ask in response, “You can’t hide from me forever!” you’ll say. And off I’ll frolic into the shadows to wait for your at your weakest moment. “All in due time” I’ll whisper to myself.
Don’t you worry your pretty little keester, Jolly Biscuit will return. Even more powerful than before, with robot spider legs, and forward mounted laser cannons, and it’ll also be one hundred stories tall, with rockets, and oil slicks… And none of it would be possible without the support of viewers like you, all five of you. Keep on trucking hombres.
(Looks out the window)
Oh sweet Jesus, summer is coming…
I always knew this day would come, just like every other year around June. My fair skin and paper bag hardly survived last year’s solar bombardments. I avoid the outdoors as best as I can, but I gotta stretch my legs (the glutes want what the glutes want). Ordinarily I’d run around the house screaming at the top of my lungs. But my parents won’t let me do that anymore. Apparently I’ve left too many sticky ice cream fingerprints and dead birds around for their liking.
Maybe if I hide under a pile of towels this year then summer won’t even know that I’m here. If I’m lucky maybe it’ll move on to one of those cold countries like Viking-Landia, or the moon. It’s a crying stinking shame that summer don’t roll like that, he ends up just overstaying his welcome and makes everything all dry and sticky like granny Geerson. Summer’s nothing like winter. Winter’s a pretty coooooool guy……. (cricket sounds)
Winter has a sense of personal space, as long as you pay your heating bills he minds his own business and stays the hell out of your way. SURE, you can attempt to ward off summer by purchasing one of those fan things. But they keep pivoting from left to right so you’re really getting like twenty percent efficiency. I’ve heard rumors that you can stop those things from pivoting, but those fans are always so complicated. They’ve got like three different buttons on them and I never know which one to press.
Summer gets all up in your shit and doesn’t leave you alone unless you hide in your basement. That is, if you’re fortunate enough to not have any windows in your basement. If you do it only makes matters worse. Summer kinda just peers in through that one little opening, and you know you can’t do anything about it because the last time you tried getting a restraining order the police just hung up. Friggin summer with his beaches and his ice cream and those pool parties in his back yard… If I had my own season then it would rain puppies and the sky would turn pink and summer isn’t invited.
Stick around kids because next time I’m going to complain even more about nice things…